Today I went for an autograph signing for Mark Sheppard. As a lot of you probably know, it was my intention to thank him for basically helping to save my life. His portrayal of Crowley was what did it. I had been very depressed, attempted to kill myself and came very, very close to succeeding. It was the thought that Crowley wouldn’t give up that made me get help.
And I’ve always wanted to just thank him but never could find the courage in any of the times I’ve seen him. But somehow today I managed to get out a ‘thank you for everything you’ve done for me’. He asked me to explain what I meant and all of a sudden, I’m standing there telling him what happened to me. Then he says to me, “The problem with killing yourself is that most of the time, you’re killing the wrong person. Of course, homicide isn’t always a feasible option.”
I thought that was it but the next thing I know, I’m in a five to ten minute long conversation with him. He told me that I shouldn’t ever be afraid to get help and that there are people out there who have gone through the same thing and would understand. That he’s been sober for twenty-three years but he saw a lot of his friends die and some of them by their own hands. That it’s a solution but one that creates a lot of pain and takes away a good person from the world. And now that I’ve been there and gotten through, I’m in a position to help - not preach at - people who maybe going through the same thing.
Then he thanked me for telling him and he was glad I’m here and doing okay. At that point I was holding back tears and I started crying when we walked away. I think it was the first time In a long time that I cried because I was happy.
All I know is that he didn’t have to talk to me for so long. He could have just said you’re welcome and moved on or left it at something simple but he didn’t. I’m really, really grateful for that. There’s never been a celebrity that I’ve loved more and I just feel really lucky that I had the chance to thank him. It just further cemented my love for him.
Please ignore this, it’s just me ranting about RP stuff.
I just spent the last four days driving through three provinces and seven states for a total of about 3,700 kilometers in a seriously crowded and old SUV with a three year-old.
But, oh my god, it’s been worth it.
We’ve slept on couches and on really shitty beds. Ate at the Winchester Family restaurant and stayed in an apartment that had salt on all the doors and windows.
Saoirse has spent the entire time talking about Crowley and dinosaurs and sharks. She played in a hose at a rest stop. I drove for sixteen hours in one day.
I haven’t even gotten to New Jersey yet. It’s an hour away. The convention hasn’t started.
And this has been the best trip I’ve ever taken.
Now I’m going to eat this ice cream as my daughter jumps on the bed, screaming that she’s the Princess of Hell.
Hey, these are the pictures from when I was told I looked like a redneck.
I should learn not to make faces.